I get some flashbacks of some happenings in my old company. I feel angry and frustrated again. I want to be over this. Lord, help me please. I should put my thoughts and feelings into words. Maybe that way, it would help me in the moving on process. I do not want to stay this way, but I cannot help it sometimes. I am only human, and this is one of those times when forgiveness is hard to do. I want to be rid of the hurt and bitterness and anger in my heart. This is not good for me.
I just realized that last May 1 could have been my 8th year in my old company, Le Soleil International Logistics Co. Inc./Yngen Holdings Inc. Almost 8 years, and nothing much has happened in my career. So frustrating that I have worked hard and honestly but there is no improvement. So frustrating to see that people who came later than me has climbed up on their career ladder but not me. So frustrating to know that some people were given more financial benefits but not me. So frustrating to know that my petty mistakes were magnified but my little achievements were not acknowledged. So frustrating to know that I was treated differently compared to the other employees. Lastly, they never made me feel like I was a vital part of the company. Instead, they made it look like I should have a debt of gratitude towards them for having a job. If only I have known that this would be the outcome of my 8 years, I would have left a long time ago and pursue a career somewhere else where I know I will grow and will be needed.
Now I am back to square one again, and sometimes I feel like I have wasted my 8 years of service for just nothing. I could have done something else. Though I am thankful for the experience, but sometimes it does not suffice.