… but regret is what I am feeling right now. Regret over wasted time and wrong choices. Regret for foregoing some of things I want to do over something that will not be mine. A lot of “what ifs” are going through my head right now, and it only brings more regrets. Regret that after almost 8 years, it will just end up like this. Regret that I did not push through a passion over something like blind loyalty. Apparently not every loyal soldier gets honoured. Sometimes they are sent to lost cause battles in order to save face for the king. Regret is a burden. You know you can do nothing about it but it keeps on coming back, replaying the what-could-have-been scenes in your life.
I do not want to live with regrets. I am in a situation now where it could be an opportunity or a failure for me. I want to do everything I can to do something I love and am passionate about, albeit there are hurdles along the way. I do not want to live another 8 years of my life and feel regret at the end. My head is still a blur right now, with things suddenly messy for me, but now I know what I want. I want to be appreciated, motivated, grow while doing what my heart desires.
Mama said there will be days like these, but it is not always like this. Everything will be okay.