Happy New Year!

Chapter 2013 in our life’s book is about to finish. I am so thankful that in our journey, God is always the consistent and constant character. To Him be all honor and praise and gratitude.

Life is indeed full of surprises. People who have missing or not active characters in my life’s story have re-appeared and reunions are sweet. There are some characters who never made it to the last paragraph, but I know that they are now safe and secure in the Author’s loving arms. There are some characters who have reached the crossroads with me, and with great regret and sadness, a parting has happened. I wish them well, wherever their roads may lead them, hoping that someday our paths will cross again. I am forever thankful for the characters who have been with me for many chapters already – sharing my joy, sharing my sorrow, lifting me up when I am down, believing in me, and allowing me to their wings when they need me. Along the way, I have met new characters who have made this chapter of my life exciting.

To the antagonists and protagonists, I thank you also for you have played a part where realization of my hopes and dreams have become clearer. Each act is a learning experience – the good motivates me to strive harder and be a more better person, and the bad makes me realize that some things do not work the way I want to and I have to find another means.

Lastly, thank you to the Author, for making my story a choose-your-own-adventure kind. You have given me free reign on what I want to do but You have laid the options and the possible consequences for each decision. I may have fail, I may have falter, but You make me get back on my feet, making me dependent on You at the same time independent for my own decisions. You have given me so many chances, and when those chances have run out, still You give me more. Guide me to the righteous path, not the easy one. Make me learn, let me grow, and I pray at the last chapter of my life, my epilogue will be, “You are good and faithful. I am proud of you, My child.”

Happy New Year, everyone! I am excited for Chapter 2014 already.

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Thank You, Brownie!

What you see are brownies. What I see are friendship and motherly love. Because of a brownie, I have memories of someone who is not aware that she has touched my life in ways more than one. Because of a brownie, I have one of the truest friendships, broken and mended through the course of time. Because of a brownie, it made me realise that life is full of happy and funny surprises. That good deeds, no matter how small, are never forgotten. That true friends, despite the distance and circumstances, remains together at heart. Thank you, brownie!

Walking Away

I am in the process of walking away from something that does not value me. I know my worth and I am going to navigate myself towards the path that will lead me to my growth. Loyalty is a good thing, but it is also a downfall when you are loyal to people who bring you down instead of lifting you up. I am glad I have supportive friends who advice and encourage me to stand up and move on without being judgmental, with my dignity and pride still intact.

My Inner Voice

I used to care so much about what will people say because maybe I was naive and I want to either please or conform. I realised I do not need to do that – I can be myself and still have people like and love me for what I am.

Creativity

I laughed when I saw this, because this really is so true! I remember my wanting for hologram books and waterproof papers to be invented. I just realised that I need to connect my running with my love for reading. I do not know how it came about but I just see myself running with a transparent screenlike stuff in front of me filled with words. Awww, if hologram books are going to be real, think about losing in two worlds at the same time.

Live With No Regrets

 

… but regret is what I am feeling right now. Regret over wasted time and wrong choices. Regret for foregoing some of things I want to do over something that will not be mine. A lot of “what ifs” are going through my head right now, and it only brings more regrets. Regret that after almost 8 years, it will just end up like this. Regret that I did not push through a passion over something like blind loyalty. Apparently not every loyal soldier gets honoured. Sometimes they are sent to lost cause battles in order to save face for the king. Regret is a burden. You know you can do nothing about it but it keeps on coming back, replaying the what-could-have-been scenes in your life.

I do not want to live with regrets. I am in a situation now where it could be an opportunity or a failure for me. I want to do everything I can to do something I love and am passionate about, albeit there are hurdles along the way. I do not want to live another 8 years of my life and feel regret at the end. My head is still a blur right now, with things suddenly messy for me, but now I know what I want. I want to be appreciated, motivated, grow while doing what my heart desires.

Mama said there will be days like these, but it is not always like this. Everything will be okay.

 

Running: The Greatest Metaphor for Life

If running is the way of life in a parallel universe, I would love to be there.

You work hard, you get the rewards. You slack, you go a few squares back. You break some PR, you feel good and proud of yourself and the few pats on the back and recognition and motivation coming your way makes you want to work harder. No one is going to get the credit for the hours of gruelling the ground with your tears, sweat, and a few occasional blood but yourself. Others cannot ask you to do the work for them and get the credits themselves. Your perseverance and dedication is well rewarded; there is growth in running. The longer you run, distancewise and timewise, you grow in more aspects. No shortcuts, no under the table transactions, no cover ups. Everything is transparent and has process in running. There is no room for doubts, only pushing yourself to do more because it is most certain that in one time, you are going to get what you have worked hard for.